


Hello, my name is ____________

by Lelline



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Crack, Fake AH Crew AU, Fluff, Gavin is a little shit, Happy Ending, M/M, Poor Jeremy, Team Lil Britain, abuse of nametags, headbands game, office party au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 06:45:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5818222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lelline/pseuds/Lelline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing Jeremy realized upon joining the Fake AH Crew, was that it was in his best interest to just nod and go along with everything Geoff said.</p>
<p>Not complaining when the man drunkenly slapped a name badge sticker on his forehead during the biggest staff party in the criminal world was just one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello, my name is ____________

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [ Rage_Quitter ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rage_quitter) for doing a quick Beta read for me. If you haven’t already seen their stuff you really should. They’re what caused me to write The Long Drive Home and start shipping Jerevin.

The first thing Jeremy realized upon joining the Fake AH Crew, was that it was in his best interest to just nod and go along with everything Geoff said.

Not complaining when the man drunkenly slapped a name badge sticker on his forehead during the biggest staff party in the criminal world was just one of them.

Even after over a year in the gang, Jeremy still felt like ‘the new guy’. He still wondered sometimes if he still needed to prove himself, as if he wasn't now one of Ramsey’s right hand men. But compared to the others he felt too new, too inexperienced. They were one of the top gangs in America and part of the great criminal organization known only as RT. And to most people, the Fake AH Crew was the most impressive crew. In just a few short years they'd gone from just a two man subunit of RT to becoming their own crew with multiple squads. They only took the best jobs, and were each practically celebrities.

Jeremy had planned to just be part of the b-team, to just work alongside the others and help the real stars of the Fake AH Crew shine. And for the first month he had been just support crew, helping them in little ways and running errands.

He hadn't expected Ray to retire so young. The man had obviously been saving up for it, and while he did still work the occasional tricky sniping job, he was mostly a civilian now. He didn’t even live in Achievement City anymore, choosing to move and live elsewhere with his girlfriend.

That had left a spot to fill within the main crew, and Jeremy somehow had been the one chosen to fill it.

But that still left him feeling inadequate and a little guilty. He hadn't earned his place like the others had. He hadn't had to battle to bring them to the top. He missed the years before their truce with Funhaus, missed the heyday of the crew’s heists. He had no cool battle scars or personal vendettas against the AC police. 

He wasn’t even the best sniper. Yes, he was great at reaching tricky spots to have a good view of his target, but he was much better at hand to hand. Still, he was happy to do whatever needed to be done. 

So for now at least, he wasn't complaining at Geoff's latest attempt at humor, though the others were. Jack was the first one who just seemed amused, practically preening as she helped Geoff with the placement of the sticker on her forehead. She had been the one to make the name badges up in the first place, suggesting that some of the lower ranking newcomers might need the help.

Gus had laughed cynically when they had mentioned it to the heads of RT. “If they're that fucking stupid to not know who we are they don't belong here.”

The others had agreed, and the little box of name stickers had been all but forgotten.

But now Geoff was drunk, and suddenly the idea of everyone wearing the wrong tag was the most hilarious thing he had ever heard of. The gent was doing that strange laugh of his, sneaking up on people to plaster the names on their foreheads.

“Who am I at least?” Ryan asked from his spot behind Jack, his eyes looking up as if he would be able to see the name printed on his forehead. “I'm at least not Gavin, right?” He was labeled ‘Spoole’ which was arguably just as bad.

“Hey,” the mentioned Brit said from beside Jeremy, still surprisingly sober. He was dressed nice in one of his overpriced designer shirts and gold accessories, spiked hair a little less dramatic than he would do it for the heists. His green eyes were brought out by the purple in his shirt, though Jeremy’s eyes were constantly trying not to wander down to Gavin’s skinny jean clad ass. His name tag was for Joel Rubin, a man Jeremy barely knew. “I can't believe that you would say that, Ryan, I thought you were nice.” 

“He’s a killer by trade.” Jack laughed, looking at Gavin with one of her surprisingly maternal smiles. She had ended up with Geoff’s name tag.

“No one peek at their sticker.” Geoff announced loudly. “At the end of this you can guess at who you are, but no guessing or telling anyone anything until it's ending. Play by the rules, assholes.”

“What rules?” Ryan asked, exasperated. “You’re just making this up as you go.”

“The first rule is to listen to your fucking boss.” Geoff snapped.

“This is stupid.” Michael grumbled, though he let his boss stick Peake’s name tag on his head.

“Shut up,” Lindsay laughed, only grinning wider while Ryan’s name tag was carefully stuck to her head. “Give me a few, Geoff. I'll help.” 

“Seriously?” Jeremy sighed, “we’re doing this?”

“You got lucky with yours.” Ryan tried to console him, earning a dirty look from his dear wife.

“Yeah.” Gavin smiled earnestly at him, looking just as mischievous as his pseudo big brother. His big green eyes were on Jeremy’s face now and Jeremy had to try not to blush. “I like yours Jeremy.”

“Of course you do.” Ryan gave Gavin an evil look. “It is your favourite person.”

So he had to be Michael than. That wasn't bad. Except it kind of was if it meant he would have to listen to the other joke around about it. It was bad enough that he felt like an inadequate crewmember, but the fact that he wasn’t ever going to be Gavin’s favourite was a sore spot. Especially since there was no denying that Gavin was his.

“Anyone want a drink?” Jeremy asked, before excusing himself to retreat to the bar. It seemed none of the other crews had been immune to Geoff and Jack’s insanity, with Ashley Jenkins, Elyse, and Barb standing by the bar with name tags marked ‘Ray’, ‘Adam K.’, and ‘Gavin’. He gave them a smile, but his mind was on his drink.

“Nice tag.” Barb glanced over to him, giving him a smirk. The other two blondes glanced over as well, but only Barb seemed amused.

He wondered if she knew how jealous he was of Michael sometimes. Or if she was just amused at Geoff’s brand of humor. Either way it made him sigh, glad when the bartender passed him a beer. He glanced up again, scanning the room. Gavin is talking to Griffon, the woman back on to Jeremy. Whatever she was saying was making Gav smile and goddamn couldn’t Jeremy get a break from his crush?

Wishing Matt was there he headed over to Lindsay, the redhead having run out of stickers. Everyone had a tag now, even Burnie, but he still felt like people were laughing at his for some reason. He blamed his lack of street cred and already sore self esteem.

“Hey J.” Lindsay smirked at him, have you figured your tag out yet?”

“I'm Michael aren't I?” He shrugged, “Gavin’s favourite.”

“Well, yeah you're Gavin’s favourite.” Her smile only grew more sinister.

“So,” he shifted uncomfortably. “Do you have any idea who you are?”

“Ryan right?” She shrugged. “He's the only one I haven't seen.”

“No.” He lied weakly, surprised she had guessed it so quick.

“Look around.” She advised. “You can do a quick process of elimination if you try. There's only two dozen of us.”

“I already know who I am though.” He sighed, hunching his shoulders as he tried not to dwell on it..

“Really?” Lindsay turned back towards the rest of the Fake AH Crew, “hey, Griffon?”

The blonde paused her conversation with Gavin and even across the room Jeremy could read ‘MOGAR’ on her tag. “What?”

“Never mind.” Lindsay chirped, giving Jeremy a pointed look, like he was a particularly slow child.

“Okay fine.” He stalked away, determined to figure out Gavin’s favourite if it wasn't Michael.

The next best solution appeared in a cute lace dress, forehead marked as Elyse. She was slim, pretty and feminine, the opposite of stocky, masculine Jeremy and it was one big relief to realize that if it really was Meg’s name on his forehead, it would be a really good reason for people to find his tag funny.

And Gavin loved Meg. He hadn’t realized it was in that way, but the Brit watched her news reports every day on the local station and the two texted occasionally. And Meg was the picture of feminine beauty and she knew how to show it off. Jeremy was confident in his looks, but if Gavin wanted a ladylike partner, he wasn’t ever going to stand a chance.

He walked around the room, checking every tag. No one had Meg. He did another patrol, finishing his beer as a slight melancholy began to fester in his bones.

“Lil J.” Gavin called out, voice ringing across the room. He had to have taken a few shots since Jeremy left, and he was holding two jello shooters in his hands. “Come here! Come here! We’re doing shots.”

“I can see that.” He couldn’t help but smile, gravitating to Gavin like a moth to the flame.

The blonde gave him an earnest grin, passing him a shooter and tapping the cheap plastic together. “To the future.”

“To the future.”

The jello stuck to the plastic, and Jeremy had to swirl his pinky along the cup, before it finally was loose enough to slip free. Gavin seemed even less civilized, for when Jeremy looked up it was to see a red tongue sliding inside the clear plastic. Gavin sucked it down like a champ, and Jeremy had to focus on putting the empty shot down on a nearby table before he thought about what a long tongue like that could do.

“Jeremy? Are you straight?” Gavin asked, eyes on his own empty glass.

“Not really.” He had been a little thrown off by the non sequitur, blurting out the answer. It had never been a secret anyways. “Why?”

Gavin turned red, eyes glancing up to Jeremy just a moment. The blonde seemed to be losing his nerve, “Well… uhh… nevermind.”

For a split second, Jeremy let himself believe that Gavin was blushing because of him. But Gavin liked Meg.

When Jeremy figured it out, it was like something had hit Jeremy, forcing the air out of his lungs. He tried to swig some beer, but his bottle was still empty. Setting the empty beer down beside the shooter, he tapped his forehead. “You like whoever this is, don’t you?” Gavin had wanted to talk to someone about his crush on Meg. He’d wanted someone who liked women and could empathize.

“Y-yeah.” Gavin nodded sharply. “I… I’m going to ask them out tonight. I… They’re my favourite.”

“Well I’m sure it’ll go well.” Jeremy managed to keep himself together. “You’ll do great Gavin.”

“Jeremy!” Gavin grabbed him by the shoulder, keeping Jeremy there as he looked him straight in the eyes. Or well, more likely straight at the sticker, but with their height difference it almost looked like he was looking into Jeremy’s eyes with that wistful, hopeful look in his eyes.

Fuck Jeremy’s life. Fuck it for doing this to him.

“Go get em tiger.” He laughed a little nervously, instantly regretting the fact he sounded like someone’s father.

“Yeah.” Gavin’s eyes flickered to his forehead again. “I’m not good at that. Usually I can get really, really mullered and ask someone out but… I really really like this person.” He leaned closer. “And I want to do this right but I’ve already bolluxed this.”

This close, Jeremy could smell Gavin’s cologne and the whiskey on his breath. The blonde hesitated, like he was a bit too loaded to know what he was at, and Jeremy decided to take pity on him, no matter how much it would kill him. He cared about this tall fish stick far more than he should. “How about I tell them then? After the party.”

Gavin’s face spasmed, as if he wasn’t sure what emotion to feel. He settled on happiness, and maybe a little relief. ‘Thanks, Jeremy. You’re the best. Tell them after we take off our badges though.”

And that kinda made sense. It would be awkward to talk to Meg knowing her name was written on his forehead anyways.

Gavin leaned in, massive nose brushing Jeremy’s forehead before his lips made contact with the thin plastic of the nametag. It was a tormenting touch, making his heart race even as it plummeted down to his shoes.

“I really, really, really like them.” Gavin murmured, before pulling away to give Jeremy a strange smile and heading off into the crowd.

Jeremy stayed there for a moment, frozen in place. He barely breathed, not wanting to lose the lingering scent of overpriced cologne and cheap alcohol.

“Meg!” He heard Gavin call out in the distance, though he may have imagined it.

Jeremy went off to get another beer.

It was nearly 1 am by the time they started to reveal names. They had cleared a table to use as a stage and one by one people stepped onto it, calling out who they thought they were. Everyone had two guesses before they got to step down. Most people got it right the first time. Spoole had gotten up visibly flustered, since he had been convinced he’d been certain he had been Gavin until Barb had gone up just before. He stammered out Adam, then when pressed as to which one he said either. He was James, but still went down looking amused despite his fluster.

Jeremy didn’t want to go up, hands going clammy every time Jack decided who to pick next. She must have realized, giving him contemplative looks each time before choosing someone else. Meg was one of the last to go, the purple haired vixen grinning. “Elyse.”

“Yeah.” Geoff gave her a grin.

“So why isn’t anyone wearing my name tag?” The woman asked, eyes scanning right past Jeremy.

“Actually.” Peake’s voice carried through the room, even with how soft it was. Jeremy hadn’t remembered seeing him, even though he had known Michael had been wearing his tag. The man seemed to emerge from the shadow, as always an impossibly stealthy man even when he wasn’t trying to be. And there was Meg’s name, plastered across his forehead.

Jeremy couldn’t stop himself from reaching up and yanking his own sticker off, losing a few eyebrow hairs in the process. Vaguely he could hear Jack laughing, but all he could really hear was the rush of blood in his ears and his own heart skipping a beat.

Jeremy.

He had been wearing his own name tag the whole time.

He stared at it a little too long, not quite sure if it was real or not. Gavin had said the person on his nametag had been his favourite. Gavin had said Jeremy was his favourite. Gavin had said he really wanted to ask Jeremy out. Gavin had kissed Jeremy on the forehead and was a complete and utter bastard.

 

He finally looked up again, just to see a vast majority of the room watching him with knowing looks. He’d kill them all later. “Where is he?”

Geoff could barely point, he was laughing too hard. Still, he managed, and Jeremy could barely make out a familiar blonde head heading away from him.

He pursued, well aware of how red his face was and how the whole room either knew what Gavin had done, or would know by the time he returned. He’d been fine with Gavin’s awkward confession when he’d thought it was just Gavin venting, but that had been a real confession. Gavin had blurted everything out and kissed Jeremy right in front of everyone without Jeremy realizing it.

The brit turned around as soon as they reached the empty hallway. Gavin’s smile was somewhere between bashful and hopeful and Jeremy marched straight over. He’d meant to yell at the blonde, to tell him all the different ways he could have done things better.

Instead he just grabbed him by the front of the shirt and hauled him down for a kiss. “Yes, I’ll go out with you, shithead.”

Gavin almost protested the insult, but Jeremy had already realized that kissing was a much better use of their mouths.

Neither returned to the party, which was a shame because an hour later Barbara and Elyse had been caught making out behind the bar counter and Gavin and Jeremy’s awkwardness was all but forgotten by everyone but Geoff.

Geoff never shut up about it.


End file.
